November is here and I’m thinking of its significance in our lives. I’m thinking of All Saints Day and All Souls Day. I’m thinking of my mother who passed away twelve years ago. Despite the long years of her absence, I still have those moments when I miss her, when I have a sudden feeling of her spiritual presence or a vision of her, either smiling at me or showing her usual demeanor such as her talkativeness and anxiousness. Yes, this month of November makes us think of our departed loved ones.
It will be even harder for people who have lost a family member this year. I think of my friend Matt. A month ago, his mother died; and a few days ago I was telling him how hard the coming holidays will be for him, for his dad and his siblings. I shared with him how painful the first Thanksgiving Day without my mother was for my family. Each of us cried while we took turn saying a prayer of thanksgiving before meal. But then I assured Matt that in a few years, dealing with his mother’s death will be easier and he’ll only have beautiful memories of her.
What can we do? We all have to deal with mortality, whether that of a loved one or ours. I know that we don’t even want to think about this; we’d rather enjoy life or keep on working. But I would say that, sometimes, it’s healthy to reflect on death: it makes us realistic; it sets our priorities; it helps us examine our values.
For our Christians, death is not the end. It’s the beginning of a new life—not here on earth but in heaven with God. I tried to explain this to a fellow passenger sitting with me in a plane on my way back to Los Angeles. She introduced herself as Lyn, a Taoist. According to her religion, she explained that people who die come back to life in different forms, depending on the level of their goodness in their previous life. “When you die,” she said, “you bounce back into your own life and have the opportunity to experience another variation of your life.” I did not argue further with her. I realized our common belief that death is not an end to itself. It’s a beginning of a new life. Again, for us Christians, it’s a new life with God in heaven, not on earth. Our Scriptures, the Resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ, explain this to us.
The essence of life, however we interpret the Afterlife, is the goodness that we sow or plant in this world. Our footsteps that are marked with love, kindness, and care for others are what matter most. Our talent, skill, or intelligence will be remembered well, but our contribution to the human progress and to those in need will be much more meaningful in the minds of people and in the history of our life.
Each of us has to think of his or her existential purpose. Now, we can’t all be popular or have prestigious titles, but we can all leave a mark in others, whether these others are our children, other loved ones, friends or neighbors. Some of us are destined to be great; some of us just live ordinary lives, but the call is the same for everyone. We are made to love and serve others.
The month of November is, indeed, a reflective time, a time to think about the brevity of our lives and to accept life’s realities in peace. The following words in the Book of Ecclesiastes (3:1-8) are appropriate to meditate on: There is an appointed time for everything, and time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to read, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time for love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
May the Good Lord grant peace to us and all our departed ones! May we see all things, including death, with the eyes of faith in Jesus Christ our Lord!
